Skip to main content

Outlier

Outlier
Alone. Vulnerable. An Outsider. In a pitch black room with no one but myself. No support, no nothing. In a world with seven billion people in it, I still found a way to feel alone. In a country that I’ve lived in for 13 years, in a school that I’ve been in for eight years. You would think that I’ve found my place in this world, but in fact, I’m the complete opposite.

 Everyone is constantly trying to find their place in this world, including me. New trends come about every now and then and everyone following them, but the few outliers who choose to stay with who they are. I used to think that I had a close group of friends that would guide me, that would be there for me, but as time flew by, our friendships flew by and I was at square one once again. Where is that one person who I can come to and rant about my life problems? Where are you?

 Living in a world where there’s a dark and light, I easily get lost in the dark and gloomy. But with my earbuds in, my eyes closed, I get away. Everyday I come to school the same way. Backpack on, headphones in, and a fake smile on, hoping that I can at least conquer today. Everyday I do the same thing, walk up and down the halls looking for a friend to talk to. I eventually find someone that has a common interest as me, and I think we’re coming close to being friends, but do they think the same? They seem to always come and go for me. They always seem to leave me behind like an abandoned puppy left in a thunderstorm.  

 Left out in conversations when I’m obviously there? Check. Walking alone to lunch and break? Check. Not getting invited to hang out? Check. All the time I feel like I’m going to lose my mind with all this loneliness, even though I used to love my peace and privacy. But now it’s different, now I feel lost like I’m in a dark tunnel, but with no shining light at the end. But I had to learn to put myself out there. Go to people, instead of them come to me. Believe me I know it’s a scary world out there and putting yourself out there may be scary. But sometimes, that’s your only choice. And it may seem that every part of you is done and dead, but there still is that hopeful beating heart that knows that things will get better. You may be outspoken and vulnerable right now, but one day there will be a shining light. And that moment will just have to wait for now.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Water Bill

The chart above shows my family's monthly water consumption. In August it was 72.8 cubic meters, in september it was 60.5 cubic meters, in October it was 64.9 cubic meters, in November it was 63.7 cubic meters, in December it was 25.8, and for January it was 47.7. The average is 55.9 cubic meters per month. The target was the average reduced to 20% less of our water consumption and the amount we would want to use instead of using an a lot more wasteful amount. Our target was 44.72 cubic meters per month.
3 comments
Read more

Significancy of Schindler's List: News Package

News Package Element/ Time Reference Script Introduction The Holocaust is one of the most famous genocides known by many around the world. There has always been speculation whether the movie, Schindler’s List, and its goriness was ever appropriate for students, especially for those who couldn’t handle the gruesome content in the movie. But one filmmaker, Steven Spielberg, made a monumental movement. He changed the lives of many with just one movie. He brought perspectives on prejudice and bullying to light in the phenomenal movie, Schindler’s List . Soundbite 1: Matthew Elms, 8th grade C-side social studies teacher (Elms, 5:43) “I have a hard time imagining an intelligent person sitting down and watching that movie and not being changed. And being the same person afterwards that they were before.” Bridge When asked on how the movie could change people’s perspectives on the world and prejudice, Matthew Elms, an eighth grade social studies teacher at SAS, had a s...
4 comments
Read more

Target

Airplanes flying low, smoke and fire everywhere, and destruction of the twins falling down. That was nine-eleven. It was the tragedy that shook the entire world and the time where many lives were lost trying to save the innocent.Tears fled from people’s eyes like a stream and hearts were slowly tearing apart as loved ones were getting torn apart from them. Grief and condolences were sent to the US and its people. And during that very sad time, Muslims were discriminated because about one percent of their population were the ones who attacked. Persecuted for doing something they didn’t do, something they didn’t have control of. Even being called horrible names like “terrorist”.  Going to an American school and being the only Muslim in my grade, I felt like a social casualty. A lost puppy in a thunderstorm. We used to talk about this event in class every year and my teacher would talk about the culprits that were the Muslim terrorists. And I would see the few peers who woul...
4 comments
Read more